Monday, July 30, 2012

No Cash? No problem.


At approximately 1:30AM at the Ted Williams Tunnel, a middle-aged woman comes to my lane. I can tell she is very irate, so I try to be as sincere and helpful as I can. I have a lot of patience but this patron was really testing it.

PATRON: The signs are so f***ing s***ty! I went the wrong way! Can I turn around?
ME: Sorry, m’am, you have to go through the tunnel from here. Where are you trying to go?
PATRON: I’m trying to get on 93-North but I don’t want to go through the f***ing tunnel!
ME: You’re going the right way. Exit 24 on the right will bring you onto 93-North. It’s $3.50 for the tunnel.
PATRON: I don’t have any damn money!
ME: That’s okay, I can issue you a bill for the toll and you can pay it later.

In the past, people with no money used to be able to fill out an Unpaid Toll Invoice and then mail in the amount of the toll within two weeks. However, two months ago, that policy changed. Because it was based on the honor system and people weren’t returning their I.O.U’s, the new policy is issuing a No Cash Violation, which is a bill of the toll plus a $5 processing fee mailed to the registered owner of the vehicle.

PATRON: Can’t you call a state trooper to escort me off the tunnel?! They do that in New Jersey.
ME: I’m sorry, we don’t do that here in Massachusetts. Just give me one moment, please.

It takes about 40 seconds for me to write out the bill. The whole time, the woman was going on and on about how she had a long day, barely any sleep, and a meeting in a couple of hours. I give sympathetic responses as I’m writing out the bill but I do not say much because there is nothing I can do to help her with her personal problems. I must not have been sympathetic enough because she starts cursing at me, but I’m used to tuning this part out.

ME: Here’s a copy of the bill. Instructions are on the bottom. You’re all set. Thank you.
PATRON: What the f*** is this? I don’t want a bill!

Just when I thought she would drive away and take her life story with her, she proceeds to read the instructions out loud to me. Luckily, the senior toll collector entered my booth to give me more quarters and he could tell I needed assistance. He asked the woman what the problem was and the same conversation I had with her earlier took place again.

This time, the senior toll collector took the bill out of her hand and ripped it up in front of her. After informing her she wouldn’t be billed the toll anymore, she drove away. I asked him why he let her go for free and he told me, “She’s not getting a bill anymore, but she’s getting a $50 fine for toll evasion. There's no reasoning with unreasonable people.” Lesson learned.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Greetings!

Hi there,

Welcome to my blog, "Cordial Etiquette*: How to be a Civilized Human Being."

cordial: (adj.) courteous and gracious; friendly; warm
etiquette: (n.) customary code of behavior within a particular group

*cordial etiquette: standards on how to be a civilized human being

Being a toll collector in Boston, I face so many crazy 10-second encounters. The customers can be extremely happy to see me when I give them directions after they've been lost for hours, or extremely irate for having to pay their third toll by the time they've entered Boston. Either way, I want to share interesting experiences with you that show people who know cordial etiquette and those who clearly do not.

Although most of my posts will probably be based upon my daily encounters that come through my tiny toll booth, I will also write about details of my life. This includes my roller-coaster relationship with my mother, adventures at the bar or club with my friends, and any other interesting etiquette I experience at certain places.

After all, cordial etiquette ought to be practiced in our daily routine!